Willard Fillmore

Norm Macdonald

Rusty P. Hayes

Dave Chappelle

Virginia Crock

Elaine Stritch

Grover Cleaver

Danny DeVito

Detective Tom Dewey

Daniel Benzali

Chester "Chip" Oswald

Sherman Hemsley

Hillary

Sarah Silverman

Roger

Malcolm Stewart

Officer Richardsen

Lochlyn Munro

Dane

Brent Chapman

Buddy

Brent Butt

Aunt Mabel

Helena Yea

Buddy

Anthony Harrison

Tito

Lorenzo Campbell

News Anchorman

Brian Arnold

Angry Momma

Lorena Gale

Dane

Brian Jensen

Dane

Shawn Macdonald

Mr. Kettle

Mark Acheson

Dane

Kelly Fiddick

Cop

Ken Kirzinger

Tito's Henchman

Damon Thornton

Flower Shop Clerk

Camille Sullivan

Morgue Janitor

Tom Heaton

Morgue Operator

Sue Astley

Cussing Guy

Tygh Runyan

News Reporter

April Telek

National Anchorwoman

Joanna Piros

Local Anchorwoman

Samantha Ferris

News Reporter

Ted Friend

News Reporter

Claire Riley

Policewoman

Lois Dellar

Cop

Charles Andre

Sharp Shooter

D. Harlan Cutshall

Cop at Pile Up

Ben Derrick

Meter Maid

Ann Warn Pegg

Vice President

Robert Moloney

Willard's Uncle

Lloyd Berry

Garbage Man

Dee Jay Jackson

Russian Lady

Georgina Hegedos

Ticket Agent

Khaira Le

Chicken Girl

Laurie Bekker

Chicken Shack Worker

Martin Amado

Lady in Beauty Shop

Irene Miscisco

Muffin

Bam Bam

ND Cop

Tony Morelli

ND Cop

Jim R. Dunn