Deputy James Garcia
Carlos Alazraqui
Lt. Jim Dangle
Thomas Lennon
Deputy Cherisha Kimball
Mary Birdsong
Deputy Travis Junior
Ben Garant
Deputy Trudy Wiegel
Kerri Kenney
Deputy S. Jones
Cedric Yarbrough
Deputy Clementine Johnson
Wendi McLendon-Covey
Deputy Raineesha Williams
Niecy Nash
Deputy S. Jones
Cedric Yarbrough*
Chief of Police
Lennie Loftin
District Attorney
Danny DeVito
The Druglord
Paul Rudd
Miss Acapulco
Alejandra Gutierrez
Terry
Nick Swardson
Ron of Ron's Tattoo
Michael Ian Black
Sheriff
David Koechner
Kevlar Guy
Brandon Molale
Deputy Assistant Mayor, Jeff Spoder
Patton Oswalt
Cheyenne the Helicopter Model
Kathryn Fiore
Deaf Tattoo Artist
Ken Marino
Sir Terrence
Paul Reubens
Steve Marmella
Jack Plotnick
Persnickety Desk Worker
Dave Holmes
Glen the Desk Clerk
Toby Huss
Spring Break Dream Girl
Cathy Shim
Alligator Expert
Chris Tallman
Bus Driver
Michael Clark
Tammy
Tamara Fox Meyerson
Drug Lord's Girlfriend
Marisa Petroro
Drug Lord's First Hostage
Kyle Dunnigan
Breen the Plumber
David Wain
Tattooed Guy
Todd Holoubek
Captain Rogers, DHS
Ian Roberts
Tattoo Shop Owner #1
Michael Patrick Jann
Decontamination Guy
Brian T. Finney
Russian Model
Irina Voronina
Drug Lord's Second Hostage
Steve Little
Tattoo Shop Owner #2
Joe Lo Truglio
Tattoo Victim
Kevin Allison
Wrestling Referee
Eric Price
Jello Wrestler
Kathryn Smith
Dangle's "Body Double
David Veach
Wiegel's "Body Double
Mary Castro
Paul
Michael Showalter
Hot Paramedic
Shanti Hall
Spoder's Mom
Mindy Sterling
Clapping Cop
Matthew Budds
Barry Baum
Michael Hoback
Jose Jose Jose
Oscar Nunez
Proctologist
Floyd Van Buskirk
Mansion Gunman (uncredited)
Jason Bartley
Policeman (uncredited)
David Cohen