John Bennett

Mark Wahlberg

Lori

Mila Kunis

Ted

Seth MacFarlane

Donny

Giovanni Ribisi

Rex

Joel McHale

Thomas

Matt Walsh

Guy

Patrick Warburton

Tami-Lynn

Jessica Barth

Robert

Aedin Mincks

Frank

Bill Smitrovich

Narrator

Patrick Stewart

Norah Jones

Norah Jones

Sam J. Jones

Sam J. Jones

Tom Skerritt

Tom Skerritt

Young John

Brett Manley*

Young John

Bretton Manley

John's Dad

Ralph Garman

John's Mom

Alex Borstein

Alix

John Viener

Tanya

Laura Vandervoort

Asian Man "Ming"

Robert Wu

Gina

Ginger Gonzaga

Tracy

Jessica Stroup

Michelle

Melissa Ordway

Greenbaum Kid

Max Harris

Kid #1 / Young Ted's Voice

Zane Cowans

Kid #2

T.J. Hourigan

Kid #3

Owen Clarke

Heavenly

Kristina Ellery

Cherene

Katelyn Lorren

Angelique

Chanty Sok

Sauvignon Blanc

Sara Fischer

Sauvignon Blanc

Sarah Fischer

Waitress

Cassie Djerf

Guy at Table #1

Joe Siriani

Guy at Table #2

Patrick Shea

Guy at Table #2

Pat Shea

Partygoer (Ted's Buddy)

Henry Penzi

Guy #1

Josh Duvendeck

Girl at Party

Tania Cabrera

Guy #2

Chris Cox

Teenage John

Colton Shires

Plymouth PR Worker

Viera Andrea Moya

Club Girl

Hajee Kim

Ellen

Lydia Hannibal

Crazy Guy

Shawn Thornton

Club Girl

Heajee Kim

Stagehand

Eric Weinstein

Waiter

Danny Smith

Newscaster

Mike Nikitas

Female Newscaster

Robin Hamilton

Southern Newscaster

Mike Henry

Husband

Johnny Lee Davenport

Wife

Christina Everett

Wife

Chris Everett

Bellybutton (voice) (uncredited)

Tara Strong

Tourist

John Franchi

Ted Danson (uncredited)

Ted Danson

Jared (uncredited)

Ryan Reynolds

Party Guest (uncredited)

Olivia Jordan

Club Patron (uncredited)

Alexandra Creteau

Concert Attendee (uncredited)

Emmalyn Anderson

Matthew Jason Walsh

Jan Odle