April Shepard

Tara Reid

Fin Shepard

Ian Ziering

Nova Clarke

Cassie Scerbo

Skye

Vivica A. Fox

Jonathan Bennett

Billy the Kid

Matt Shepard

Charles Hittinger

Bryan

Judah Friedlander

New Bryan

Debra Wilson

Billy The Kid

Jonathan Bennett

1950's Beach Girl

Lucia Oskerova

Morgana

Alaska Thunderfuck

1950's Beach Girl

Roxanna Bina

Merlin

Neil deGrasse Tyson

Winter

Marina Sirtis

Girl in Bikini

Raine Michaels

Benjamin Franklin

Leslie Jordan

Frodo

Alexandre Ottoni

George Washington

Darrell Hammond

Alexander Hamilton

Ben Stein

Jebediah Clarke

Roy Taylor

British Captain

Dexter Holland

British First Mate

Kevin ‘Noodles’ Wasserman

Paul Revere

Viscreanu Constantin

Sheriff

Dee Snider

Thirty-Year-Old Gil

Chris Owen

Eastwood

James Murray

Rand McDonald

Gilbert Gottfried

Raye Martin

Tori Spelling

Gilly Shepard

Dean McDermott

Connor Beale

Benjy Bronk

Grandpa Clarke

Christopher Knight

Clay Aiken

Young Nova

Catarina Scerbo

Charter Boat Captain

Bernie Kopell

Matt Shepard

Chuck Hittinger

Claudia Shepard

Ryan Whitney

Captain Santiago

Israel Sáez de Miguel

Palmer

Marcus Choi

Cleopatra

La Toya Jackson

Confucius

James Hong

Marie Antoinette

Eileen Davidson

Muhammad Ali

Shad Gaspard

Joe Lewis

Jayson Paul

Viking King

Kato Kaelin

Caesar

Patrick Labyorteaux

Joan of Arc

Sharon Desiree

May

Bo Derek

Wilford Wexler

Gary Busey

Martin

Mark McGrath

Gemini

Masiela Lusha

Al Roker

Al Roker

George (archive footage)

John Heard

Quint Singer

Anthony C. Ferrante

Quint Guitarist

Robbie Rist

1950s Dancer

Tammy Klein

Hologram Gil (voice) / D. Brown

M. Steven Felty

Townsperson

Chris Ridenhour

Bar Patron

Thunder Levin

Medieval Gil

Tiberiu Harsan

Hologram Gil

Brendan Petrizzo

Erik Adkins