Roseanne Conner

Roseanne Arnold

Dan Conner

John Goodman

Jackie Harris

Laurie Metcalf

Darlene Conner

Sara Gilbert

Becky Conner-Healy / —

Sarah Chalke

David Healy

Johnny Galecki

Beverly "Bev" Harris

Estelle Parsons

D.J. Conner

Michael Fishman

Fred

Michael O'Keefe

Phyllis Zimmer

Vicki Lawrence

Leon Carp

Martin Mull

Becky Conner-Healy / Becky Conner / —

Alicia Goranson

Himself

Fabio

Guest Star

Terri Ivens

Nancy Bartlett Thomas

Sandra Bernhard

— / Mark Healy

Glenn Quinn

Ed Conner

Ned Beatty

Pete

Paul Feig

George

Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Chuck Mitchell

James Pickens Jr.

Doctor

Tom McTigue

Melissa

Kari Coleman

Nurse

Jeanetta Arnette

Parry

Mike Pniewski

Customer 1

Alex Cole

Customer

Audie MacDonald

Deliveryman

Mickey Robins

Deliveryman

Pat Bullard

Flo

Florence Henderson

Customer 3

John Farley

Roy

Ahmet Zappa

Waiter

Bob Nickman

Sally

Miriam Parish

Crystal Anderson Conner

Natalie West

Jake

Red Buttons

Nana Mary

Shelley Winters

Joel

Rob Elk

Nurse

Louisa Abernathy

Deliveryman

Robert Camilletti

Dean

David Allan Donah

Customer 2

Victoria Edwards

Guest Star

David Feldman

Lonnie Anderson

Kristopher Kent Hill

Guest Star

Nicolas Meyst

Bo Buchanan

Robert S. Woods

Clint Buchanan

Clint Ritchie

Stu Mehlman

Jim Turner

Customer 4

"Wild" Bill Bauer

Sam

Joe Keyes

Bob

Dweezil Zappa

Sharon

Mariel Hemingway

Girl

Yvonne Zima

Marge

Laura Kightlinger

Lucille

Selma Archerd

Cord Roberts

John Loprieno

Cop 1

Joe Minjares

Mail carrier

JoAnne Liebeler

Luke Spencer

Anthony Geary

Cop 2

Benjamin Thomas

Laura Spencer

Genie Francis

Guest Star

Tom Arnold

—

Bonnie Bramlett*

—

George Clooney

Mark Conner-Healy

Ames McNamara

Mary Conner

Jayden Rey

Harris Conner-Healy

Emma Kenney

—

Matt Roth

Molly Tilden

Danielle Harris